Ancient Wedding Ceremonies

posted by on Jan 27

Have you ever had great success in one venue, maybe house parties, but were unable to succeed with women you met other places, like perhaps Clubs?

Often it is easier for you to be cool and social in one venue than another. This is your `comfort zone`. You know what to say, how to say it, and who to say it too. But outside of that zone, you are toast! This is because we often use certain external techniques and social skills that do not really apply to every venue we might find ourselves in. When you have deep set beliefs that you are a high status male, and that no matter where you are, that you are among the elite males, then all these anxieties and problems fall away.

How? Because your strength and resolves makes other people change THEIR mode of behavior to suit yours. If Bill Clinton walked into a raging rock concert or hip hop concert, this one man, would have everyone in a completely different frame of mind, all begging to appease HIS way of interaction. The people bend to YOU.

Inner Game Positively Influences Your Body Language

* Fifty-five percent of the communications signals we send results from how others see us

* Thirty-eight percent flows from the way they hear us

* Seven percent comes from our words

Source: http://www.barkscomm.com/fa_nonverbal.asp

Having solid Inner Game allows your body language to accurately communicate. This is called `congruence`, when your words are matched by your attitude and body language. If you say Super Man things to a woman, but feel like Clark Kent inside, she WILL know, and you will get nowhere with her.

Inner Game Improves Every Aspect Of Your Life, Making You More Attractive

I saved the best for last. Inner Game development need not be limited to confidence and belief setting with women. It can apply to everyone, and life in general. You can rethink previous ideas, like you’ll never be able to get into a good college, or you’ll never make a good XYZ and then your subconscious will begin helping you to change so that these things can happen. What is best is that being successful in life ( and I don’t mean being rich ) will make you doubly attractive to women, and that will raise your confidence even more. It is cyclical.

Conclusion

Not learning proper Inner Game techniques can lead to ALOT of frustration AND embarrassment too using seduction tactics that seem incongruent. Without Inner Game, no amount of “negging”, or “cocky funny” will allow you to have lasting success with women.

posted by on Dec 24

Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

I’ve discovered, in the 35 years that I’ve been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly – with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change – you can only change yourself.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment – of losing the other – and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually – by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an “attitude of gratitude.” Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!

posted by on Dec 20

To break up a relationship is a harder decision when we talk about a long term one.

In most cases when woman is no longer interested in a relationship she doesn’t want to be the one to end it. But even when she is already made the decision to break it up, she will take some time to give you some signs to prepare you, before she tells you.

If you feel that something is going wrong it is time to take a closer look at your relationship. Here are seven warning signs she is no longer interested:

1. This is probably the most classic subtle signal of all: her life become too hectic. She hasn’t picked up the phone for a few days and when she does, she is busy and pretending that she doesn’t have time to met you. This isn’t necessarily a sign that it is over, but if you are used to meet her frequently then there is something wrong.

2. Eventually, when she decided to spend some time with you she keeps looking around to find something to do or someone else to talk to. However, when a woman is interested, she puts in the effort by giving you her full attention.

3. She’s secretive and no longer wants to tell you where she has been or who was on the phone.

4. Don’t forget that women love to talk. If she doesn’t ask you questions and shows no interest in what you have to say and when you ask her questions she limits her answers to “yes” and “no” she has a problem. Can it be the relationship
with you?

5. Is she causing arguments over stupid little things? If nothing you do or say isn’t right anymore and all that goes wrong is your fault you can start to worry.

6. She refuses the presents you make. Women love to get presents, so if she turns yours down, she can feel guilty because she is thinking to break up with you, especially if you know she was about to buy that thing for herself.

7. She talks about divorce or break up of other people relationship, as a positive thing. Maybe a friend of her just has braked up with her boyfriend and now she is doing much better.

In the game of romance, few things are black and white. Most of the points above are assumptions based on commonly used techniques. There is room
for interpretations and misunderstandings but all this can make you wonder if everything is ok and discuss the problems you might have.