posted by on Feb 10

Why are some relationships more honest than others? Why are some couples more truthful with each other while others like to deceive the partner? Nobody deserves to be lied, but there are no doubts that women are telling lies considerably and often. But so men do the same.

If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship. Even though, a lot of people say ‘‘white lies” in order to make others feel better. Some women lie because, as caring creatures they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing.

So, here are some common lies told by women that you should know. Someday you might hear them from your partner and it is better to know their real meaning.

1.You’re perfect. I love you just the way you are and I wouldn’t change a thing about you. Let’s be serious; nobody is perfect. At the beginning of a relationship all of them say this because they didn’t know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. So, if she tells you something like this, don’t be too enthusiastic because she finds you perfect just for a couple of days, and after that she will ask you to change.

2.You’re right. Every time you are arguing with you’re girlfriend usually ends up by telling you that you are right? Maybe this makes you feel proud of you, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn’t consider that you’re right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was right, and may be waiting for apologize.

3.Nothing is wrong. The most common lie ” I’m fine” when asked if there is something wrong is the most used by women. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn’t want to talk to you too much and ask her what is the problem she says that everything is fine. They don’t want to tell the real truth but they are expecting that men to figure out that something is wrong and those they had a mistake with something.

4.I do love sports honey. Maybe she agrees to stay and watch with you every week at a football game but this doesn’t really mean that she like it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other girls and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for you, because not many of them would like to stay to watch football, but don’t be too happy because after a while she might had enough and get angry every time you sit down to watch a game.

5.I like spending time with your friends. At the beginning this is ok, but not too much. Even if they are good friends of you, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn’t tell you already this, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.

6.Your family is adorable, so I like spending time with your family. The truth? Maybe twice a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she likes to spend time with your family where everybody is criticizing her and watch her every move? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn’t do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.

7.Your bank account doesn’t matter. I hope you didn’t believe this. We all know that this is definitely a lie. All women want a guy that is financial stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. This doesn’t mean that you have to be very rich to have a girlfriend, but you have to have some money.

8.It doesn’t bother to me if you look after women or go with your boys at strip-clubs. This is too good to be truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go. They hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go, she will make you a lot of comments after, so you better think twice before you go.

9.You are very good in bed. If she choose to speak about this topic without you ask her, you don’t have to believe all she says. If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience it doesn’t mean that she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tell him all that she knows he wants to hear just to make him feel good about himself. So think about your girlfriend, your relationship, your sexual experience and see if you really deserve compliments on this topic.

10.Don’t worry, it happens to everyone. If you just make a mistake, or fail in bed, you might hear this lie from your girlfriend. She doesn’t want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. I wouldn’t be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry in not making too many ” accidents” like these.

With all these presented, now will be more easy for you to know when your girlfriend is lying. As you see, what a woman says is not what she really thinks.

posted by on Jan 27

Have you ever had great success in one venue, maybe house parties, but were unable to succeed with women you met other places, like perhaps Clubs?

Often it is easier for you to be cool and social in one venue than another. This is your `comfort zone`. You know what to say, how to say it, and who to say it too. But outside of that zone, you are toast! This is because we often use certain external techniques and social skills that do not really apply to every venue we might find ourselves in. When you have deep set beliefs that you are a high status male, and that no matter where you are, that you are among the elite males, then all these anxieties and problems fall away.

How? Because your strength and resolves makes other people change THEIR mode of behavior to suit yours. If Bill Clinton walked into a raging rock concert or hip hop concert, this one man, would have everyone in a completely different frame of mind, all begging to appease HIS way of interaction. The people bend to YOU.

Inner Game Positively Influences Your Body Language

* Fifty-five percent of the communications signals we send results from how others see us

* Thirty-eight percent flows from the way they hear us

* Seven percent comes from our words

Source: http://www.barkscomm.com/fa_nonverbal.asp

Having solid Inner Game allows your body language to accurately communicate. This is called `congruence`, when your words are matched by your attitude and body language. If you say Super Man things to a woman, but feel like Clark Kent inside, she WILL know, and you will get nowhere with her.

Inner Game Improves Every Aspect Of Your Life, Making You More Attractive

I saved the best for last. Inner Game development need not be limited to confidence and belief setting with women. It can apply to everyone, and life in general. You can rethink previous ideas, like you’ll never be able to get into a good college, or you’ll never make a good XYZ and then your subconscious will begin helping you to change so that these things can happen. What is best is that being successful in life ( and I don’t mean being rich ) will make you doubly attractive to women, and that will raise your confidence even more. It is cyclical.

Conclusion

Not learning proper Inner Game techniques can lead to ALOT of frustration AND embarrassment too using seduction tactics that seem incongruent. Without Inner Game, no amount of “negging”, or “cocky funny” will allow you to have lasting success with women.

posted by on Dec 24

Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.

I’ve discovered, in the 35 years that I’ve been counseling couples, 7 choices you can make that will not only improve your relationship, but can turn a failing relationship into a successful one.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF

This is the most important choice you can make to improve your relationship. This means that you learn how to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs. This means that instead of trying to get your partner to make you feel happy and secure, you learn how to do this for yourself through your own thoughts and actions. This means learning to treat yourself with kindness, caring, compassion, and acceptance instead of self-judgment. Self-judgment will always make you feel unhappy and insecure, no matter how wonderfully your partner is treating you.

For example, instead of getting angry at your partner for your feelings of abandonment when he or she is late, preoccupied and not listening to you, not turned on sexually, and so on, you would explore your own feelings of abandonment and discover how you might be abandoning yourself.

When you learn how to take full, 100% responsibility for yourself, then you stop blaming your partner for your upsets. Since blaming one’s partner for one’s own unhappiness is the number one cause of relationship problems, learning how to take loving care of yourself is vital to a good relationship.

KINDNESS, COMPASSION, ACCEPTANCE

Treat others the way you want to be treated. This is the essence of a truly spiritual life. We all yearn to be treated lovingly – with kindness, compassion, understanding, and acceptance. We need to treat ourselves this way, and we need to treat our partner and others this way. Relationships flourish when both people treat each other with kindness. While there are no guarantees, often treating another with kindness brings kindness in return. If your partner is consistently angry, judgmental, uncaring and unkind, then you need to focus on what would be loving to yourself rather than reverting to anger, blame, judgment, withdrawal, resistance, or compliance. Kindness to others does not mean sacrificing yourself. Always remember that taking responsibility for yourself rather than blaming others is the most important thing you can do. If you are consistently kind to yourself and your partner, and your partner is consistently angry, blaming, withdrawn and unavailable, then you either have to accept a distant relationship, or you need to leave the relationship. You cannot make your partner change – you can only change yourself.

LEARNING INSTEAD OF CONTROLLING

When conflict occurs, you always have two choices regarding how to handle the conflict: you can open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict, or you can try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. We’ve all learning many overt and subtle ways of trying to control others into behaving the way we want: anger, blame, judgment, niceness, compliance, caretaking, resistance, withdrawal of love, explaining, teaching, defending, lying, denying, and so on. All the ways we try to control create even more conflict. Remembering to learn instead of control is a vital part of improving your relationship.

For example, most people have two major fears that become activated in relationships: the fear of abandonment – of losing the other – and the fear of engulfment – of losing oneself. When these fears get activated, most people immediately protect themselves against these fears with their controlling behavior. But if you chose to learn about your fears instead of attempt to control your partner, your fear would eventually heal. This is how we grow emotionally and spiritually – by learning instead of controlling.

CREATE DATE TIMES

When people first fall in love, they make time for each other. Then, especially after getting married, they get busy. Relationships need time to thrive. It is vitally important to set aside specific times to be together – to talk, play, make love. Intimacy cannot be maintained without time together.

GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF COMPLAINTS

Positive energy flows between two people when there is an “attitude of gratitude.” Constant complaints creates a heavy, negative energy, which is not fun to be around. Practice being grateful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.

FUN AND PLAY

We all know that “work without play makes Jack a dull boy.” Work without play makes for dull relationships as well. Relationships flourish when people laugh together, play together, and when humor is a part of everyday life. Stop taking everything so seriously and learn to see the funny side of life. Intimacy flourishes when there is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy.

SERVICE

A wonderful way of creating intimacy is to do service projects together. Giving to others fills the heart and creates deep satisfaction in the soul. Doing service moves you out of yourself and your own problems and supports a broader, more spiritual view of life.

If you and your partner agree to these 7 choices, you will be amazed at the improvement in your relationship!